Kim: [00:00:08] Hello and welcome to our very first podcast of balancing mom. In today’s episode, we dive into over scheduling and what we can do to overcome our tendencies to overcommit and try to find a balance for the fun things we like to do and what we can actually do.
Stacy: [00:00:24] We are your hosts Kim and Stacy coming to you from the charming city of Durham North Carolina. The Balancing Mom Podcast is brought to you by three Bossy Bees dot com. We’re excited to be here to share tips, advice and a little bit of sanity. You know you’re not alone in the working parent journey.
Kim: [00:01:00] Stacy how is your week, or how was your weekend.
Stacy: [00:01:10] We’re in the middle of the week and I’m still feeling it because I think it’s Tuesday. It’s not so I have lost time because I have scheduled too much stuff in my life. In a very small span of time.
Kim: [00:01:24] Yeah. When you told me like you told me you were having friends and then he said oh my in-laws are here. I was “Whaaaat” and then the washer broke and flooded.
Stacy: [00:01:40] It broke. It was fixed and then flooded. A perfect storm. So I put too much stuff on the calendar and as life goes things creep up like broken washing machines. When she makes it a little bit harder to cope with the stress of the essential household appliance with visitors and for people normally in the house.
So my in-laws got here and there are no clean sheets or towels. So it was awesome. But yes I scheduled too much stuff and completely – as most working moms do – fail to recognize that there was too much stuff scheduled and it piled up and I became exhausted and tired and angry and all the things that us amazing moms become when there is just too much stuff on my calendar. And, not on the calendar that happens to creep up into your life.
Kim: [00:02:55] I mean we talked about. I mean I’m sure we’ve talked about this before. Why??? Like, why not just you. I mean I’m about to roll myself into a similar weekend where the husband just told me the in-laws are staying for a week and then we’re having birthday parties at this point.
Stacy: [00:03:15] Does this mean we should be looking at each other’s calendars and marking it up with red pen.
Kim: [00:03:21] Don’t do this don’t do this.
Stacy: [00:03:23] Move this around. In an ideal world, we’d have a personal assistant. That’s your first tip. Have your friend look at your plan.
Kim: [00:03:33] What would you say to me about my weekend. The in-laws are going to be there. Luke has a birthday party at the pool with his.
Stacy: [00:03:39] Oh yes.
Kim: [00:03:41] And then we have the same situation.
Stacy: [00:03:43] I know for you and me as always say how can I take off your plate. But really it shouldn’t be like I take off your plate. Hey Kim what are you going to take off your plate.
Kim: [00:03:54] All right. You know what I’m not going to do. I’m not going to make the cake, there. Yeah, I’m going to order it. That’s what happens when you will not feel guilty that possibility but are not me. Are you like “yes, please don’t make the cake.”.
Stacy: [00:04:12] I can make it a better cake. I when you knew you knew the answer to that. Before I even looked at your planner and so you’re not really going with your gut.
Kim: [00:04:26] True. True. But how about your weekend.
Stacy: [00:04:29] I had no foresight into how important my bed was to my health. I really didn’t. I did not know how important my bed was to sleep. I did not sleep at all because I wasn’t in my bed.
Kim: [00:04:41] So where were you.
Stacy: [00:04:42] I slept in the guest bedroom.
Kim: [00:04:43] You gave up your bed to your guests?
Stacy: [00:04:46] Yes.
Kim: [00:04:47] Your nice bed?
Stacy: [00:04:49] My king size, Belgian linen sheets….Yeah, you know my restoration little hardware bed. I should’ve known I spent that much on a bed. I should know how important sleep is to me. You’re shaking your head. So, I did not go with my gut. I guess I wasn’t really listening for it because I was too busy cleaning my house.
Kim: [00:05:14] Why would you give up your bed? Were you trying to be kind? I mean yes that was a kind thing.
Stacy: [00:05:22] I want my friends to come back.
Kim: [00:05:24] But, they’re not coming here for your bed. Well, maybe now they will!
Stacy: [00:05:28] They probably will.
Kim: [00:05:30] They will now! That’s a really nice bed!
Stacy: [00:05:36] No they would they would come back for the seared tuna… It was kind. I wanted them to be comfortable. I was trying to be considerate of them needing to sleep in the morning with the kids being as noisy as they are. Which is funny…thing was my youngest went down there anyway because you know we were in the guest bedroom. He just walked up and said, “I pooped.”
Kim: [00:06:10] Oh so maybe they won’t come back! Alright so you gave up your bed and I know you love your in-laws.
Stacy: [00:06:18] I do. I think that’s tip number three: is stop trying to fit in. Stop trying to fit people in. Stop trying to fit in all the tasks. Stop trying to squeeze yourself into a schedule that doesn’t really fit. Everything… everything doesn’t fit on the calendar. But you know everything can fit on the calendar. If You look at it and say “this is too much in this amount of time more. Can I move this around?” I’m pretty good at doing that… generally.
Kim: [00:06:52] I mean you can’t foresee things breaking like a washer breaking. So you got sick. The in-laws are here. No washer.
Stacy: [00:07:03] I got out of my routine. I didn’t go to my barre class on Saturday morning.
Kim: [00:07:09] And you’re surrounded by all these people all the time. And the kids. wow.
Stacy: [00:07:16] Maybe I should have gone to that barre class.
Kim: [00:07:19] So make some space for yourself.
Stacy: [00:07:21] Carving out the time and space.
Kim: [00:07:23] See. That is good for me to know. Now, I will do that for myself this coming week. I’m going to come over here and use your high-speed internet since I have none. It’s what happens when you move to the country.
Stacy: [00:07:46] Yeah I think that’s probably the most important thing because to be quite honest you’re not always going to be around to look at my calendar and tell me I have too much craps scheduled. Ultimately we’re responsible for our own lives. And so we take the space and time that we need when all of that stuff is going on – I should have skipped my art class that’s my thing or my Peloton.
Kim: [00:08:16] Yeah… It makes you feel better. Yeah, but it maybe it’s too just saying all these things out loud. If you said out loud “I’m going to have friends over, and then my in-laws. “I’m going to make dinner and I’m giving up my bed…” maybe just saying them all out loud. You would have thought “that sounds crazy.”
Stacy: [00:08:41] And it’s all on my calendar too!
Kim: [00:08:44] But I mean it just sounds crazy.
Stacy: [00:08:46] Maybe i just write too tiny.
Kim: [00:08:49] But if you say it out loud…. you know oh yeah.
Stacy: [00:08:53] If you say it out loud to someone else. I just said this all to you out loud…
Kim: [00:08:59] All right. “My in-laws are coming. I’m having two birthday parties. And, making a cake and making a cake.” No. maybe you’ll pick it up on your way over?
Stacy: [00:09:10] I could
Kim: [00:09:13] Asking for help too. Yes. Oh yes. Yeah, but making a space for yourself. I’ll have to do that this weekend.
Stacy: [00:09:22] Because otherwise I mean as much as you can love your husband and your children and your in-laws and constantly picking up after the kids and being called on something or everything touched. Yeah. Constantly being touched.
Kim: [00:09:40] Pulled on. No privacy… trying to pee.
Stacy: [00:09:44] No. nothing. Yeah. Not only space but the time.
Kim: [00:09:49] So even just I’m going to walk the dog by myself. Making the space I can do that thing.
Stacy: [00:09:58] I’ll try to do that.
Kim: [00:10:00] Saying it out loud.
Stacy: [00:10:01] And putting it on your calendar.
Kim: [00:10:03] Yes.
Stacy: [00:10:04] On your planner. Kim time. Stacy Time.
Kim: [00:10:09] And you know what – telling my husband.
Stacy: [00:10:13] Yeah. Letting other people know that this is “my time.”.
Kim: [00:10:16] This is my time.
Stacy: [00:10:18] Now do not disturb thank you.
Stacy: [00:10:21] Well thank you.
Kim: [00:10:22] No, thank you.
Stacy: [00:10:29] Kim and I are grateful that you’ve decided to join us in today’s discussion. We invite you to explore more topics that we dive into on Balancing Mom and visit our website at 3BossyBees.com. That’s number three boss bees dot com. We appreciate your feedback and reviews as well. Please visit us again next week. As Kim and I challenge each other to try one new thing for a week. Till then, keep calm, and you KNOW you GOT THIS.